Its been a while.

"She floats in the room, carefully avoiding eye contact. She was the epitome of beauty. Graceful, sweet, elegant. She was everything every girl ever wanted too be. How could something so beautiful, so elegant exsist on such a foul planet. She was perfect, yet every type of evil"

-From the story "mind yet unread" by C.Accountius.

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I love writing, it calms me in a sense, takes me out of my crazy world and puts me in someone elses. I write about any and everything. Things that I feel are going to happen and things that have already happend. I write true stories and I write fiction stories. I think maybe english literature is a better path for me. Psychology will always have a chance tho.

What can I say?

I think sometimes people take happiness for granted. Its a hard thing to come by at times. I think true happiness should be cherished. I think diffrent people bring happiness to themselves in diffrent ways, I find happines through musical intruments. Piano and Guitar. I think I'm lucky in someways and unlucky in other ways. I know that I've taken alot for granted over the years and I'm trying to change that, I don't wanna take anything for granted everything is a gift. Everyday is a new begging and a new chance. I think that no big or how small a mistake is you can learn from it.

God gives us the oppurtunity to have eternal life. Takeing that oppurtunity has been the greatest thing I have ever done in my life. I hope people see that it can make you a better person. I try and show that I'm a chirst fallower in everything I do. People are drawn to people with good attitudes. I try and have a postive attitude about everything. No matter how big or how small it is.

I find things difficult at times. but its nice to know that I always have someone there to help me no matter. There is always someone with me where ever I am who ever I'm with. God is always there.

Through God I've Found Eternal Happiness.

Understanding more.

I've come to relize who can be trusted and who can't be. I relize now who I truly can count on and who I can't.

I've seen people that I've helped, not help me when I need it.

I wish people would just relize how unhappy I really am and relize I do need help and I need good friends. but thats impossible to find at school it seems. I feel like theres no one to turn to even if they say you can. My life revolves around one thing and thats god. no matter what you think I love god with all my heart.

Understanding is one thing I find difficult and people mistake acceptance as understanding all the time. I accept most thing, but I don't understand much.

I'm smart, I think I am the "shit" if you will. and I don't care if you like that or not. Don't be my friend if you don't like it. Don't be fake to me. I'm good at reading emotions and thoughts through body lang. and tone of voice.

I find people underestimating me funny and people think my methods are crazy and will never work. But they just don't see the logic behinde it all.

I'm a very logical person things must make sense in order for them to be correct. I don't think anyone in high school knows what love is. I understand loving someone, but being in love with someone, I just don't see that happening to anyone in high school specially the lowerclassman. yes I'm including myself in that. I may only be 16 and may be the size of a 12 year old. But I have the mind of a 19 year old. I think everything out before I give an answer.

If your insecure with yourself, don't bring me down cause your down. I'm happy with who I am and if your not, then don't bother me with it.

9th post and counting.

I've got to get everything out there, I'm tired of lying to the people I love.

Things to know about Carol:

I'm 16, I think I would know how old I am. kthanks.

I work at Starbucks.

I am a Christian and I belive in god with everything I have.

I use to lie like a crazy person, but in the past year, thats changed.

I love my friends and I would do anything for them.

I had a brother, he passed away April 2006 he was 15.

I have a Half Sister thats 20 and in college.

I have went through some rough times with my parents but thats slowly starting to get better.

I have trust issues when it comes to guys.

I've been left and forgotten one too many times.

I cry when I'm stressed, anxious, happy, sad and angry. So in other words I cry alot.

I'm very blunt and harsh at times and I'm trying to change that.

I speak whats on my mind and thats not always the best choice.

I've learned when to bite my tounge and keep quite.

I know how to keep a secret but if it puts yourself or someone else in danger I might just tell.

I like watching people, to see where they've been and where there going to end up.

Ick.
Today has been crappy, I still feel like bawling my eyes out for no good reason, which makes no sense, but thats just how I feel, I didn't go to school today and my mom doesn't know it. and I feel kind bad, I might tell her. I don't know.

Its been raining which sucks even more. I've been trying to fallow Andys advice but yeah, not working so well :/ Sometimes I wish I could just go back to when life was easy, but I don't think thats happening any time soon.

I think I broke my toe...with a shampoo bottle. Don't ask me how cause all I know is I dropped it and it hurts now. I'm so tired. but I can't sleep idk why. I've been really anxious lately my mom thinks its from all the caffine I've been drinking at work and all the Red Bulls I drink.





Sometimes I just wanna scream.

Which song to singg?

I"m trying to choose my song for Sudden Impact and I've got it down to two.
but I still can't decide.

I'm between two Stellar Kart Songs

Me and Jesus-Stellar Kart

Life is Good-Stellar Kart

I don't know which onee.

What do you think >?

:)

lalalalala, My day was pretty good, alittle interesting, I'm staying with my friend Cassady tonight. and I think I'm playing hookie tomarrow no schooolll :p. my mom doesnt kno that (shhhhhhhhhhhhhh!) uhm my week has been pretty boring other than that, I mean Wednesday night was interesting but it was just a bunch of drama that I don't wanna deal with.

I might take a break from youth group atleast till Winter Retreat but I'm not sure yet. I've been really stressed latley and I don't wanna overload myself. I'm known for doing that. I;ve been getting better about praying before I eating which it a good thing. uhmm. My phone will be here next week which makes me extremly happy Red LG Shine.


My german teacher belongs in a stright jacket I swear to you. She is batty. maybe its cause next year she's loosing her job to a robot. I don't know.

I did it!

I finally played Rain Down with minimal mistakes.
I was so proud of myselfff (: now I just got to get singing it at the same time down. Hopefully that won't be too hard.

Rain Down-Delirous?

Looks tonight the sky is heavy
Feels like the winds are gonna change
beneath my feet the earth is ready.
I know its time for heavns rain
its gonna rain
yeah yeah.


cus its living water we desire to flood our hearts with holy fire.

rain down all around the world were singing
rain down.
can you hear earth is singing rain down
my heart is dry but still i'm singing rain down
rain it down.


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I love that songgg.

School tomarrow.

Yick, gotta go to school tomarrow, three day week. Student Council meeting, not really sure if I'm looking foward to that. I love my school but there ridculous at times. I wish they would hurry up and send us our PSAT scores. that would be great, so I can see how bad I did. Today was interesting to say the least. Talked to Andy for a bit about this weekend. Then went with my mother to vote. Go McCain. Church tomarrow, fun? maybe? well see. Novemember 12th is me and shelbys first human video practice. fun fun fun. I started looking at chirstmas presents this week. I've found nothingg, I need to go to eastonn. No work today. or tomarrow. but then I work 6 days before I get another day off. yikess.

Its hot in here...which is werid, cause I'm usually cold. and its 70 outside and its novemember..somethings not right there. But I'm not gonna complain, I hate the cold. Winter Retreat is getting closer and closer makes me happy (: I get my new phone next month. LG Shine. I went crazy last night and ordered 250$ worth of hollister clothes off line. but I'm glad, I needed new clothes. My moms not gonna be happy. but oh weellll. Uh, i guess thats it for nnowww.

Voteing, Guitar and School?

I picked up my guitar for the first time in a month, stupid fake nails, I'm still as good as I was. Which isn't very good to say the least. I kept trying to Play this Song Rain Down, but I kept messing up. ): the songs on my playlist at the bottom if you want to hear it. Good worship music.

I'm still recovering from Fall Retreat, my legs and rib cage still hurt. I've ate like all my Halloween candy, which I don't think is good.

Voteing is today, too bad I'm only 16 and can't vote for another three years. I would vote for McCain tho, if I could vote, I have reasons for that, but its early and I don't feel like writing them, cause I'm lazy. and I guess it wouldn't be writing it would be typing, which reminds me that I'm back up to my normal typing speed since I took those darn fake nails off. 50 words a min 89% accuracy. That doesn't excuse my lack of spelling and grammer by the way. I'm just horrible at both. Yet I'm in Advanced English, I don't understand it either. One good thing that comes from voteing day is, No School for meee (: I love going to Reynoldsburg somtimes.

Wednesdays going to be busy, but no work. School, Student Council meeting then Church (: which means, I need to get my Winter Retreat early bird form in. Something I just can't wait for,

Other than wednesday my weeks gonna be normal, which is always a good thing.

I think now, I'm going to go take a bath and relax and maybe my rib cage and arms and legs will stop hurting. That would be nice.

I post daily for those of you who don't know.

Sometimes even two or three times a day (:

52 days till christmas.

and agine?

This weekend, was like any other youth event there was some form of drama. Glad to say I wasn't apart of it (: I was too busy being hyseterical on a high ropes course. Or laughing incredibly hard.

I think our youth group has problems, my rip cage is still soar from laughing. I can honestly say I wouldn't trade them for anything.

Along with the laughing, me being hysterical and the drama, I did get something out of Mikes msg. I finally think I understand prayer. Which is something I never quite got. Not saying that My curret youth pastor Andy, or my pervious youth pastor Derek. Didn't do a good job of explaining it. I just didn't understand.

New Albanys got a pretty sweet youth group. Made some new friends and got closer to some people I already knew. But They just don't know how to play capture the flag, me and Jess soo didn't cheatt. I don't think it was cheating anyways.

The music was good, Andy and Josh were great. The food also very good. Thank you Carol. no not me Carol. Diffrent Carol, who can cook. Unlike me Carol. Uhmm Jesse's still a goof tho, gotta love em. It was a really nice weekend all in all. Winter Retreat here we come!

I was born to tell you I love you.

"Slow down the world isn't watching us break down. Its safe to say we are alone now"

I feel like these days go by so fast. It feels as if yesterday I was just starting school and today. I'm a freshman, in a blink of an eye, I'm going to be a senior. Its scary, but exciting at the same time. I hope I'm making the right choices because the choices I make will effect my life forever. even after death, every choice I make counts and I will be held accountable for.

Considering the fact that I'm not perfect, I've made some bad choices, and some good choices, but I think its safe to say a good portion have been bad, but I have a chance to fix them, and I think I'm going to take that chance.

I've relized that as time goes on I understand more and more and I start to get my understanding of life.

Here's what I belive.

I belive that love is a growing process and it takes more than a few months, or even a year, it takes years to really love someone.
I belive no one is born evil, or bad, the world corrupts good people.
I belive that god is everything, and he is the creator of our universe.
I belive that everyone should have a second chance, and a thrid chance and a millonth chance if nessacry. Everyone can change.
I belive you should never look for the negative in people, always find the postive.
I belive that you can never go on first impressions.
I belive that smiling and laughing can cure anything.
I belive that each one person, has another person, perfect for them, and that you should never give up.
I belive in happiness.
I belive in hevan.
I belive in the truth.
I belive that no one person should be alone.
I belive that judgeing people is wrong and just cruel.
I belive in being your self.
I belive no one should go without love from another.
I belive in music.