Understanding more.

I've come to relize who can be trusted and who can't be. I relize now who I truly can count on and who I can't.

I've seen people that I've helped, not help me when I need it.

I wish people would just relize how unhappy I really am and relize I do need help and I need good friends. but thats impossible to find at school it seems. I feel like theres no one to turn to even if they say you can. My life revolves around one thing and thats god. no matter what you think I love god with all my heart.

Understanding is one thing I find difficult and people mistake acceptance as understanding all the time. I accept most thing, but I don't understand much.

I'm smart, I think I am the "shit" if you will. and I don't care if you like that or not. Don't be my friend if you don't like it. Don't be fake to me. I'm good at reading emotions and thoughts through body lang. and tone of voice.

I find people underestimating me funny and people think my methods are crazy and will never work. But they just don't see the logic behinde it all.

I'm a very logical person things must make sense in order for them to be correct. I don't think anyone in high school knows what love is. I understand loving someone, but being in love with someone, I just don't see that happening to anyone in high school specially the lowerclassman. yes I'm including myself in that. I may only be 16 and may be the size of a 12 year old. But I have the mind of a 19 year old. I think everything out before I give an answer.

If your insecure with yourself, don't bring me down cause your down. I'm happy with who I am and if your not, then don't bother me with it.

9th post and counting.

I've got to get everything out there, I'm tired of lying to the people I love.

Things to know about Carol:

I'm 16, I think I would know how old I am. kthanks.

I work at Starbucks.

I am a Christian and I belive in god with everything I have.

I use to lie like a crazy person, but in the past year, thats changed.

I love my friends and I would do anything for them.

I had a brother, he passed away April 2006 he was 15.

I have a Half Sister thats 20 and in college.

I have went through some rough times with my parents but thats slowly starting to get better.

I have trust issues when it comes to guys.

I've been left and forgotten one too many times.

I cry when I'm stressed, anxious, happy, sad and angry. So in other words I cry alot.

I'm very blunt and harsh at times and I'm trying to change that.

I speak whats on my mind and thats not always the best choice.

I've learned when to bite my tounge and keep quite.

I know how to keep a secret but if it puts yourself or someone else in danger I might just tell.

I like watching people, to see where they've been and where there going to end up.

Ick.
Today has been crappy, I still feel like bawling my eyes out for no good reason, which makes no sense, but thats just how I feel, I didn't go to school today and my mom doesn't know it. and I feel kind bad, I might tell her. I don't know.

Its been raining which sucks even more. I've been trying to fallow Andys advice but yeah, not working so well :/ Sometimes I wish I could just go back to when life was easy, but I don't think thats happening any time soon.

I think I broke my toe...with a shampoo bottle. Don't ask me how cause all I know is I dropped it and it hurts now. I'm so tired. but I can't sleep idk why. I've been really anxious lately my mom thinks its from all the caffine I've been drinking at work and all the Red Bulls I drink.





Sometimes I just wanna scream.

Which song to singg?

I"m trying to choose my song for Sudden Impact and I've got it down to two.
but I still can't decide.

I'm between two Stellar Kart Songs

Me and Jesus-Stellar Kart

Life is Good-Stellar Kart

I don't know which onee.

What do you think >?

:)

lalalalala, My day was pretty good, alittle interesting, I'm staying with my friend Cassady tonight. and I think I'm playing hookie tomarrow no schooolll :p. my mom doesnt kno that (shhhhhhhhhhhhhh!) uhm my week has been pretty boring other than that, I mean Wednesday night was interesting but it was just a bunch of drama that I don't wanna deal with.

I might take a break from youth group atleast till Winter Retreat but I'm not sure yet. I've been really stressed latley and I don't wanna overload myself. I'm known for doing that. I;ve been getting better about praying before I eating which it a good thing. uhmm. My phone will be here next week which makes me extremly happy Red LG Shine.


My german teacher belongs in a stright jacket I swear to you. She is batty. maybe its cause next year she's loosing her job to a robot. I don't know.

I did it!

I finally played Rain Down with minimal mistakes.
I was so proud of myselfff (: now I just got to get singing it at the same time down. Hopefully that won't be too hard.

Rain Down-Delirous?

Looks tonight the sky is heavy
Feels like the winds are gonna change
beneath my feet the earth is ready.
I know its time for heavns rain
its gonna rain
yeah yeah.


cus its living water we desire to flood our hearts with holy fire.

rain down all around the world were singing
rain down.
can you hear earth is singing rain down
my heart is dry but still i'm singing rain down
rain it down.


********************************************

I love that songgg.

School tomarrow.

Yick, gotta go to school tomarrow, three day week. Student Council meeting, not really sure if I'm looking foward to that. I love my school but there ridculous at times. I wish they would hurry up and send us our PSAT scores. that would be great, so I can see how bad I did. Today was interesting to say the least. Talked to Andy for a bit about this weekend. Then went with my mother to vote. Go McCain. Church tomarrow, fun? maybe? well see. Novemember 12th is me and shelbys first human video practice. fun fun fun. I started looking at chirstmas presents this week. I've found nothingg, I need to go to eastonn. No work today. or tomarrow. but then I work 6 days before I get another day off. yikess.

Its hot in here...which is werid, cause I'm usually cold. and its 70 outside and its novemember..somethings not right there. But I'm not gonna complain, I hate the cold. Winter Retreat is getting closer and closer makes me happy (: I get my new phone next month. LG Shine. I went crazy last night and ordered 250$ worth of hollister clothes off line. but I'm glad, I needed new clothes. My moms not gonna be happy. but oh weellll. Uh, i guess thats it for nnowww.